Chapter Four

I could. I really could.

I’d never been in a situation like this. I’d had good sex before, and maybe even a one night stand, but nothing like this. Nothing like him. Sure he’d screwed up the morning after but that was awkward by definition. Even I had contemplated sneaking out. Plus, I was already here; the second chance had been given. When he touched me, there was definitely something between us that I could not control. And I didn’t think I wanted to. Sure he had something strange going on, but I had secrets of my own.

He was nice. He smiled a lot – big, almost goofy smiles that made his lip curl almost unattractively but not quite; it might have been the cutest thing about him. It was so natural – as if he forgot himself, forgot to keep away and turned out to be a cool guy. Also, he was really fucking hot. I watched his huge hands perform delicate tasks: breaking bread, spreading cheese, pouring honey, and shivered at the combination of knowing what they could do to me and wondering how long I’d have to wait. I wasn’t going anywhere. I could like this guy.
____ 

I can’t. I really can’t.

I’d never had this kind of connection before. I’d had good sex, or what I thought was good set, but now I knew it had all been junior league. This was the big time. And I had no idea how to handle it. I was prepared for everything – laser-sharp focus was pretty much my defining feature. Nothing stood in the way of my game. But this girl was rattling my cage: touching her hair, biting her lip, licking her fingers. I’d broken a hundred rules and I’d only seen her twice. But I needed it. I already felt the impossibility of staying away from her. There was a rush and release I thought only existed on the ice, but it was here, with her.

I wanted to put my hand on her thigh or at the back of her neck but it felt too casual, the way a normal couple would act. That was the bullet I had just barely dodged. I could not be part of a normal couple – there was no room in my life for the challenge that would bring. But I wanted something. I wanted this beautiful girl. It was selfish and cruel but pointless to resist. Now that I’d had a taste, I needed her.
Anything more: the sound of her laugh, the snarky wit of her comebacks… that was out of the question. I could give in, a little, and control my descent. I could not free fall. I could not like this girl.
____

I loaded the few leftovers into the back of the SUV and reached up to pull down the door. Sidney appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my body, catching me in mid-stretch and pressing himself against the length of me. He stood like that for a few moments, just holding me. I willed myself to relax.

“Come to my game tonight,” he said into my hair.

“Maybe I have plans.”

“Doing what? Cancel them. It’ll be fun.”

I’m still facing away from him. “I do have a life of my own.”

He sighed around me, like he’d known I would put up a fight. “Are your plans with the girls from the other night? Bring them to the game. One of them’s having dinner with Max anyway, right?”

He was right. And I kind of wanted to see what this Sidney Crosby stuff was all about. I didn’t know anything about this guy, other than to know he could infuriate and annihilate me with equal ease. “Okay, we’ll come.”

He stroked the hair back and kissed me gently just below the ear, then again farther down, and again almost around the back of my neck. I pushed into his wide chest and solid arms.

“Thanks for breakfast,” I said.
____

The drive home tormented me. I kept looking away from the road, wanting to touch her, telling myself that I couldn’t. I didn’t want to set a precedent that I wouldn’t be able to keep up. Tonight, I told myself, tonight she’ll know. When we got home, I pulled in next to her car.

“I’d invite you in, but I’ve already broken the game day rule,” I said, helping her out of the truck.

“And at least three laws for public indecency. All before breakfast.” She leaned slightly against the side of her car, head tilted slightly back, face to the sun. I wanted to run my fingers into her thick hair and kiss her perfect mouth. But you never knew who might be looking, even here, and I was already on thin ice. She watched me like she knew I was making a decision.

“I’ll leave tickets for you at will call.”

She smiled, a little resigned, and got into her car without trying to kiss me goodbye. I told myself that was good, she was already getting the idea. But part of me was pissed – I wanted her to want me more than that. No way she was working as hard as I was to keep this in check. Then I called Max.

“Be nice on your date tonight. I invited the girls to the game.”

“I guess breakfast went well,” Max said. “Are you taking her out afterward?”

“Uh, no. I thought we’d just…,”I stammered.

“Go back to your place and hide? Christ, kid. Without my help you would never, ever get laid.”
____

Just like that. I knew he was fighting with himself internally. Was it rude to take a girl out and not kiss her goodbye? Rude to think you could have hot, urgent, almost desperate sex and not even hug her for fear of being seen? Yes, it was. And I let him hang as I drove away.

That afternoon, we headed for the game. Everyone in every direction for at least a mile before the stadium was wearing black and gold. It seemed like half of them wore 87. I tugged on my black sweater and adjusted the golden yellow scarf Shiri had lent me, the nervous feeling growing as we got closer, parting a sea of Penguins gear and Sidney’s name. I suddenly seemed very unprepared. We picked up the tickets at will call and Shiri whistled.

“You must be really good in bed, Grace.”

Inside the envelope was also a note: See you afterward. Hope you enjoy the game. - Sid

Laura appeared beside us, still a little overdressed for the game from her early dinner with Max. “Max wanted him to write: Get ready for a lot of scoring tonight. And I might even get a goal.”

“How was your date?”

She smiled widely, like she’d won a prize at the fair. “The first half was great. We’re going to a party at Max’s house after the game. And yes, you’re coming and yes, Sidney is coming and yes Max probably has mirrors on the ceilings in every room.” Despite myself I blushed to the tips of my ears.

Inside was pandemonium. I stopped counting Crosby jerseys at 200. His face was everywhere, larger than life, staring down from every angle with that intense, single-minded glare. I laughed when I saw the bracelets and stuffed penguins and backpacks with his name on them, but inside it was making my stomach hurt. It was like standing inside a pinball machine, surrounded by strobe lights and ringing bells and cash registers – I had to duck into the bathroom to get a clear thought. Then I got a beer.

Once play started I got as carried away as everyone else in the arena, cheering and chanting. Laura had taken to elbowing me every time we overheard a woman of any age saying how hot Sidney was, how sexy. I was black and blue before the first intermission. But I also knew how they felt - watching the players skate and hit, it was very primal, very rough. I had to take a couple of deep breaths to diffuse the images of Sid’s naked body that kept appearing in my mind. Seeing him in action, so strong and solid, sweating like crazy and breathing hard… there was no doubt that he was in for it later. Laura caught me grinning and elbowed twice as hard.

“If these girls knew what you know…,” she said.

“If you knew what I know, you wouldn’t be hanging out with Max.”

The Penguins won 3-1 and Sidney did in fact score a goal. We waited while the place emptied out and I took the time to get my breathing and hormones under control. It wouldn’t do to jump on him in front of a million people. There’d be time for that later in private. An usher led us downstairs to a waiting room full of women and families. Max appeared a few minutes later with the guy I hadn’t met that first night in the club. He introduced himself as Kris and I about pushed Shiri into his lap.

“Jesus Christ, this is some kind of factory for incredible guys!” I whispered to her as we watched Kris drain a bottle of water in a single swig. She swallowed hard when he did, fingers pressed to her throat.

We were saying hello to Jordan when Sidney came into the room. He’d obviously hurried – his tie was crooked. I instinctively took a step back toward the wall and he made his way through, shaking hands, taking his time though his eyes kept meeting mine across the room. He wore a perfectly tailored suit and I shifted from foot to foot, trying to alleviate the pressure building between my hips. Jordan and Shiri were laughing about something I couldn’t hear. I just watched Sid smile a smaller, more guarded grin. Finally, he made it close.

“Have fun?” He was standing straight and casual, but his eyes were practically glowing as they burned into mine. He licked his lips and for a second I thought he was going to throw me up against the wall. Or I was going to throw him.

“Yeah, you played great. Nice goal.”

He smiled proudly. “And you saw the… everything else?”

“That was… intimidating,” I admitted. Without thinking, I took hold of his tie and straightened the knot, my hand just a millimeter from his throat. He moved imperceptibly closer.

“Now you know why I can’t do normal things.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “But they’re your fans, not your parents. You can’t knock up the cheerleading squad, but I think you should still be able to have breakfast.” I still held his tie.

He knew I’d fight, I could see it in his eyes. He leaned in. “Breakfast with you? A ten-plus wearing last night’s clothes with perfect bed head and a little, tiny love bite right there…,” his hand had drifted up near my collar. If he’d touched me, I really think we’d have been naked on the floor before a single lucid thought crossed either of our minds.

“Sidney!” a woman said loudly, appearing beside him. He dropped his hand quickly, guiltily. I let go of his tie.

“Uh, hi. Hi Margaret,” he stuttered.

She was older, in her 40s, with henna-red hair and cat’s eye glasses. And she was giving us a look. “Nice game tonight, Sidney. Who’s your friend?”

“I’m Grace,” I said, stepping in as I sensed Sidney faltering.

“Charmed. How do you two know….”

Sidney found his voice. “Grace is Jordan’s cousin.”
____

It was out before I realized what I’d said. My eyes snapped toward Grace but her face didn’t change, her mask was unbroken and I wondered for a moment if I had only thought it, not said it out loud.

Then she added, “People say we look alike.”

That killed Margaret’s interest in a story for the Tribune style section and she quickly disappeared. I stood there, waiting for Grace to say something. Waiting for the ground to open up and swallow me or a time machine to arrive with my future self inside, offering a ride back thirty seconds so I could undo that mistake.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

“You do a lot of apologizing,” she said evenly, then left me standing there alone.

The room emptied slowly, feeling like a whirlpool pulling down. I was mad at myself for doing that and mad at myself for feeling bad. I needed to be able to handle this. She stood between her friends, listening to Flower, her shoulders square and posture rigid. The back pockets of her jeans had stitching on them like horseshoes and I couldn’t look away from the shape of her body.

Fuck.

Finally, we left. She piled into someone else’s car and I drove to Max’s alone, angry and frustrated. This was not going well. They were all in the house when I arrived, so I searched room to room for her. I found Max first, doling out drinks from the crisper drawer of the fridge. He handed me an open bottle and shook his head.

“Cousin?”

“It was…,” I put my hand over my face. “Fuck.”

“She’s outside.”

And she was, sitting in the warm night air on the porch railing, admiring the lights under the water of the swimming pool. She’d ditched her sweater in favor of a sleek black tank top with thin straps. Without turning, she raised her bottle and toasted the sound of the opening door.

I decided in the car I wouldn’t apologize. I already had and she made fun of me for it. If I was ever going to have the upper hand here, I was going to have to get a little tougher. My coat went over the back of a deck chair and I took the space next to her on the banister. We sat there without talking, the side of my body pressed to hers and already my pants getting tighter across the front. A warm breeze brought up the scent of her skin, I felt like a bloodhound picking up a trail. It seemed like hours that no one spoke. I didn’t want to give in, I didn’t want to go first. Tick, tick, tick… shit, she was good. She was better than I was. I started to freak out.

“Grace, I…,” I finally broke down, to say what I didn’t know.

“Oh shut up,” she commanded as she dropped to her feet, stepped between my knees and kissed me hard. I almost fell backwards in surprise but she was wrapped around me. I pulled her close, her stomach level with my crotch, and squeezed her tight between my thighs. Her mouth mashed against mine and I knew she was angry, insulted, embarrassed. I knew that had hurt. And I knew that I’d won this round.
____

I hated myself in that moment. The best I could do was wait it out till he tried to talk and then shut him up, because I didn’t want to hear his excuse. Or worse, he wouldn’t have one, wouldn’t care enough to make one up. There was a distinct possibility of that and I just couldn’t hear it.

“Shut up,” I told him and then I shut him up myself. He grabbed and groped at me, kissing eagerly and I told myself it was relief, remorse. I knew I was lying. I took my revenge for a few minutes, pressing my body against the growing excitement he did nothing to hide. There was some power in being able to do that to him so quickly.

“We should go inside,” I said, breaking away. “Otherwise everyone will know we’ve disappeared together.”

He had a handful of my hair. “Everyone in there already knows.”

“Practice, Sidney. You almost messed up tonight.” I strutted inside, leaving him alone with a growing problem.

Two can play this game, I told myself. I wanted him and I was going to get what I wanted, but I was not going quietly. Inside the house, I went straight to the bar. A tall guy was pouring himself a whiskey and coke – he looked familiar and was definitely built like a hockey player. Maybe someone I hadn’t met yet? I reached right over his arm for the vodka bottle.

“Hi,” he said, smiling down at me. He was at least 6’ 4”.

“Hi,” I poured myself a healthy measure of liquid Novocain. “I’m Grace. Jordan’s cousin.”

His eyes got wide in surprise. “Well I’m Eric, Jordan’s brother.”

“Oh. Shit.” And then I burst out laughing. He laughed too, and we stood there like idiots howling at each other. “I knew you seemed familiar, you look just like him.”

“And I play for the other team from the game tonight,” he clinked his glass against mine. “Which you would know, if you were our cousin. Is that some kind of code, like you’re Jordan’s girlfriend?”

I sipped my vodka lemonade. “Not Jordan’s.”

He got it so quickly I almost worried. Was it that obvious that someone with Crosby would be hiding? Lying? Fuck, was this a common occurrence? If Sidney did this all the time, I thought he’d be better at covering it up.

“Oh,” Eric said with a nod of understanding. “Right.”

“And not his girlfriend.”

Eric opened the bottle of Grey Goose and topped off my drink. “Come on, cuz.” We rejoined the party and I didn’t look over my shoulder at the porch door.
____

So much for the upper hand. It took me five solid minutes of thinking about TK’s grotty jock strap to regain enough composure to go inside. I grabbed a fresh drink and stopped in the living room door way, observing the party. Laura sat on Max’s lap, paging through an iPod playlist as he twirled her hair in his fingers. They’d known each other for four hours and I was jealous of how he touched her. Flower and Vero laughed together, imitating someone in French – I felt a pang of envy for how well they knew each other, how comfortable they were. They must have been making fun of Kris, because he blushed and tried to hide his face from Shiri. She put her hand in his hair and shook her head, sticking up for him. No one would do that for me either.

In the middle of the floor, Grace was attempting to teach Eric and Jordan how to do some dance move. Those two were the biggest, whitest Canadian guys ever but they were going for it. TK and Max’s neighbors were taking photos of them. Grace was a good dancer, shaking her ass slowly and smoothly to the beat of the song. She swiveled her hips gracefully, not too much but just enough that my thoughts of TK’s stinky equipment were not up to the task. Her shoulders folded into a laugh, almost doubled over, as Eric and Jordan decided they had the move down and started really exaggerating. Grace got into it too, dancing more freely, shaking her hair back from her face. She lifted her arms into the air, dropped her hips into a slow little roll and I snapped.

I strode right into the middle of the floor, grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. She went stiff in surprise but I opened my mouth and refused to let her do anything else. If we’d been in a movie, the needle would have scratched right off the record as the party came to a screeching halt. It only took a second for her to kiss me back.

“OH MY GOD THAT’S SO GROSS!” Flower shouted. Everyone whooped and hollered. Max whistled like he was flagging a cab. Grace started laughing, breaking my concentration and I suddenly realized what I was doing. In front of everyone.

“Hey, that’s our cousin!” Jordan stepped in with his arms crossed like a bouncer. I swiped at her hand and started pulling heraway. She caught the door frame and leaned back into the living room.

“Learn that dance, boys! It works every time!”
____

Mwahahahaha. I actually thought that, like the laugh of a Disney villain, as I held my hands over my head and let Sidney strip me bare. Secret my ass. His hands were all over me. He rolled the waistband of my panties down and kissed his way after them. I stood there naked as a baby and just let him.

He was flustered. He might have even been angry. Well guess what? So was I. I pulled his tie off and hustled him out of his dress shirt.

“Sit,” I barked, pushing him into a desk chair. I swung one leg over and dropped into his lap, straddling him with my bare chest pressed to his. He was already rock hard and I jostled against him like I was making myself comfortable. His hands moved to my ass but I pushed them back to the armrests of the chair. “No touching.”

He almost smiled. He wanted me to play with him. We’d gone three rounds tonight and I’d won two. Third time was the charm. I slithered off, stood, and laid the front of my body right back into him. I pushed his knees apart and got between them, rubbing my breasts into his lap. I ran my nose, then my cheek along his erection, the smooth material of his expensive suit caressing my skin. He hissed and tried to put his hands in my hair. I slammed them down and growled. Then I turned around and dropped my ass right into his lap. A few wiggles, and few bounces and he was cursing in my ear.

“If you make me come first you will pay for it later,” he warned, voice husky.

“I was promised mirrors on the ceilings,” I said dreamily.

It was so easy and I knew I was going to do it. He was trembling, fighting so hard. I leaned back against him, the length of the massive bulge in his pants pulsing flush against my ass and my bare back pressed to his chest. I turned my head and let him kiss me for a second then slid one hand between my legs and started touching myself.

“Fuck no, Grace. Don’t.”

“Mmmm,” I bit my lip, turning my face toward him. “But you feel so good, Sidney. Tell me what you want to do to me.”

His knuckles were white on the arms of the chair. He groaned as I shimmied against him, sliding his hard-on around until it settled into the crack of my ass. “I am going to make you really sorry you did this.”

“How baby?” I cooed, getting pretty warmed up myself now. I needed him to give in before my body did, which wouldn’t be long now. A girl could only sit on those marble thighs for so long without getting weak, I probably didn’t even need to touch myself for him to make me come fully dressed.

“First I’m going to put you back in my lap the way you were and I’m going to bounce you like a rag doll on my cock. Then I’m going to bend you over this desk. Grace, think about my legs. You saw me skating. You think I can’t fuck you like that all night? You really want to find out?”

I moaned softly, dipping a finger into my pussy at the idea of his body. “I really do,” I said.

“Oh you will. Then I’m going to tie you to that bed and torture you like you’re doing to me.”

I arched my back sliding a second finger in, and groaned in pleasure. My thumb flicked at my clit, bringing my close but holding back a little.

His breath was hot on my neck as he forced out an exhale, trying to hold on. I planted my feet and leaned forward a little, lifting my ass along his length and giving him a nice view of what he was looking forward to.

“Grace, you’re never leaving this room.”

“Promises, promises,” I whispered. I was really close, too close to stop myself now. I sat back down on him, dripping all over his slacks, and just let it go. A few strokes of my thumb and I sobbed out a cry, holding one hand to his thigh as I ground out an orgasm in his lap. I pressed my head back onto his shoulder as the pulse of pleasure forced a strangled, animalistic noise from my lungs.

He literally threw me onto the bed. I was still coming when I landed, and he was out of his ruined pants a heartbeat later. Sidney lifted me like a toy, pulled me into his lap and right down onto his massive cock. I squealed, spitted like a pig, but more than ready to have him inside me. He yanked a handful of my hair, exposing my neck, and bit me hard right where he’d almost pointed out a small hickey in the locker room earlier. His teeth and tongue worked, sucking at the skin, as I felt him come almost instantly. He rocked me against his body, burying his moan into my flesh, and held me down with all his might as he exploded inside me.

“Sidney,” I whimpered, overcome by the turn of events.

“You lose,” he panted, pressing his lips to mine.

I shook my head against them. “No, I win.”
____